Saturday, 4 April 2009

Birth Order Blues

For all those who are familiar with Dr Kevin Leman books about Birth Order you will love this one. A typical conflagration over an issue which the rule loving first born (Lion) believes can be resolved by placing a sign up. To which the more relational, rule bending second born (Dragon) believes can be ignored.

Above is Lion's latest try at controlling his brother, Dragon. If you aren't fluent in Toddler Gibberish, then the sign says: 'No one gets on my bed, no standing, no jumping, no climbing up onto and no sleeping on my bed. Not ever ever ever ever!! This means you Dragon!'

As I was taking the picture, Dragon was up on Lion's bed singing 'Naaah Naah Nah Nah! I on you bed!' So as all First Born's do, Lion obeyed his father by holding still while having the photo taken and then ran towards Dragon screaming 'GET! OFF! MY! BED! Can't you read the sign?' to which Dragon promptly said 'OK' and launched himself off the bed and onto his brothers chest sending them sprawling on the floor in a flurry of arms, legs, giggles and screams.

Soon after I everything had been calmed down and I went back to reading my book, Lion turns up with another sign. 'What does this one say?' I asked.

'NO jumping on me. Never ever ever EVER!'


  1. Do the good doctor's books say anything about the rule loving child also breaking all the rules that they make (because as the rule maker I guess that's their perogative), or is that just because in keeping Cheetah an only child for 8 years, we messed up the birth order laws of nature?

  2. You make sure you know who is boss, Lion, fellow eldest.

  3. Chimera's comment made me laugh because it's soooooooo true. My oldest makes the rule and enforces them...except when it's him breaking the rules. Then it's ok.

    My #1 also recently made a sign that said keep out of his room only he put #2's name with a circle around it and then a big fat X drawn through it. When things went south it was all arms, legs, screams and hitting. No giggles. It was an all out brawl.

    Much love from NJ,

  4. Chimera: I believe that, following the good Doctors rules, if there is a seven year gap between siblings they will both act like 'only child' not first born, second born.

    If I find the book I can loan it to you.

    That's if it hasn't found it's way into the Dragons nest... then it is gone forever ever ever ever....

  5. Chimera: It's only a 6 year gap needed to create a second only child... so Jingles is an only child with youngest tendancies... you are an oldest through and through (reading the book was so enlighening "yeah, she does that, oh that is so very chimera, wow, he wrote my sisters life" type thing)... and I am a middle with occasional youngest tendancies (but very well balanced in spite of it *sigh*once I got through the counselling for everything I missed out on because I was a middle child*sigh*). He also wrote a book called "first-time mom" it should be required reading for every non-first-born first-time mum.

  6. However did we manage to nurture you lot into emotionally healthy adults without the book to guide us? You are emotionally healthy adults, aren't you?????

  7. Classic post! I am pretty sure you were writing about my boys, weren't you? I love watching those relationships. I bet all was forgiven very quickly. That is what I love most about my boys. They can be wrestling on the floor and punching one another one moment then sitting on the couch reading to one another the next moment.

    Not my Sweet Pea. Oh, she NEVER forgets...

    Mrs. Nurse Boy

  8. I love your mom's comment! My mom always used to say "How did we manage to raise you without a book telling us everything we were doing wrong?" Hehehehe!

    My firstborn perfectionist, over-achiever (4.0 in college) son and his younger brother used to have a bit of trouble sharing a room.

    Firstborn liked it clean and immaculate, second born would play with his toys in there and mess it up, driving firstborn nuts.

    Eventually, we got smart and gave them their own rooms. Awww, peace!

  9. I think the book also says if first and second born are different gender you can possibly have a double first-born situation (which explains why I had most of the first born tendancies although I was second born, except the tidy bit - although I don't think Wolf had that one either.)

  10. It's been very interesting to see how all the different family members see themselves in light of the birth order book. Rowan (first born) has signs outside his room too advising in the strongest terms for others to keep out to no avail. And Nathan doesn't feel as constrained by rules as his brother in keeping with the book too.
    I do feel for Dragon. His sign is very creative.

  11. Oops! Wrong way around, Lion is the author of the signs and the put upon one who has to pave the way for his brother and break his parents in. Dragon is just trying to have fun.

  12. Well, I'm confused, never even heard of this book. I wonder how it will be thought of several years from now - remember Dr Spock (just as well we didn't follow his advice). We seemed to manage quite well with Dr Zeus books and sprinklings of the Bible to bring up our kids (and very proud of the results, we are too.)

  13. Waaahaa! Love it. So funny.

    Oooh...Saint Bernard is taking it all a little too seriously, is he not?

    And some people still follow some of (not all of) the ideas from Dr. Spock and they work today (some of, I reiterate). Just sayin'....


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