What goes on in my Monkey's head???

Driving home from playgroup today and I nearly had to pull over the car to console a panic stricken 3 year old (he's nearly 4, HELP!!!). He has a tiny pin prick sized sore on his foot and was sure that "Animals that eat meat will want to come and eat my leg because they will see my sore and think that it's meat!" He was particularly worried about the "zebras that are the really tall ones. Not the zebras with the stripes, the other ones (giraffes). Because they can reach their neck outside the cage and open it!" I was able to convince him that no giraffe was going to come and hunt him down and eat his leg.

So what's your greatest fear? I hope it's not escaped flesh eating zebra-giraffes!

Peer Pressure

Hi there, If you've popped across here because you've clicked the link in Lisa's post today under the misguided impression that you were going to be taken to a site all about Australia's vast beauty and desolate nothingness then I'm pretty sure the first post you see shouldn't contain huge amounts of ranting about the fact that my son wont poop so I thought I'd better get something else on here quick smart!

If you have come across from there please make yourself at home and start cleaning up a bit, the washing needs to be taken out of the machine, the dishes need to be loaded in the dishwasher, and the lounge room needs a good clean... leave a comment.  I'm pretty okay with most of this blogging stuff but I just can't figure out that stat counter thingo and how to tell who came from where and all that sorta stuff so please say hi, even if you are so scared by my rantings that you are never ever going to return.

If you would like to know about Australia might I point you here to see some of our local wildlife.  If you would like to learn the language my Australia Day posts from last year and this year may totally confuse you help you out.  Info on crocodiles that may or may not be accurate can be found here and here.  Feel like being thankful you don't have our spiders?  then go here.  Want to meet some more of our wildlife and find out about our day to day interactions with them? then this is the post for you.  One last little known beast that calls Australia home can be found here.

So, I hope you have fun finding out about our beautiful country.  One exciting piece of news is that we seem to have a man eating bird making his home in our back yard.  We are strangely excited by this.

Here's the big boys pointing to him (what? he's a man eating bird, not a boy eating bird!) under our poor little mango tree.

and here is a really rather dodgy close up of him.  He looks ferocious doesn't he?

So, kick aside the dried up bodies of our beautiful native green tree frogs and Barra frogs that have managed to get inside the house and not back out again (or perhaps had their insides turned into milkshakes and sucked out by those freaky spiders) and pop out onto the back patio to check out the lucky one that I rescued this morning, lovingly removing the dust bunnies from him and leaving him sit in a little dish of water to revive... or possibly leaving him sit in a dish as a meal for a snake.  (this link will bring up all the other snake related posts for you... you're welcome).

So, I'm sure this was all a part of some devious plan by Lisa to get me to do a new post and I have given in to the peer pressure by recycling all the old stuff and disguising it as new... clever aren't I?  She'll never notice.  Perhaps one day I will get a chance to do a post about our other native animals but everyone knows about our beautiful ones.  The Koalas, the Kangaroos, the Emu and the Cassowary.  Did you know Wombats poop is square?  Oh, man, I've turned it into another post about poop.  Time to go.

Let me tell you a tale...

Imagine, if you will, you are cruising along with your children in an unknown world.  You are carefully navigating each twist and turn and you come to a dead stop.  You can't move until the way is cleared and it isn't safe to get out of your vehicle just here.

You are safe in your car though... right?

WRONG...

All of a sudden a velociraptor bounds through your open window, it grabs your firstborn by his hand and starts to devour him right there in the car.  There is nothing you can do, you will need to get out of the car to get to your child and kill the creature but you can't do that here without risking your own life... after what seems like an eternity with a ravenous beast devouring your child you are allowed to proceed and you quickly pull over where it's safe and tear open the back door and beat the velociraptor to death with one swift blow.  You console your children, kiss the velociraptor bite so it's all better, hop back in the front and drive off.

Could you hear the children in the car shrieking and screaming with fear?  Could you see their tears streaming down their little pink cheeks?  What if I told you this really happened?

Though to make it entirely truthful you may want to change a few things... like we were driving home from grandma's... we were stopped at a traffic light... oh, and that velociraptor...


it was a mosquito.



Thank you Queensland Health.  Because of your "Defend Against Dengue" ad campaign, my kids are now totally freaked out by mosquitoes.

In other news Dragon saw a hideous beast in our house this morning... no, not mummy in her pre-showered state... He had been snuggling in our bed for what seemed like an eternity with a wiggly little boy and we finally got up and were walking to the lounge room when he rounded the corner ahead of me and started screaming uncontrollably, it was enough that i thought he was about to pass out from fear.  He managed to point at something I couldn't' see, just around the corner.  I cautiously crept forwards and peeked around the corner to see....

A huge snake

A MASSIVE spider

A pack of wild dogs

A grasshopper.

Yes, a grasshopper was in our house.  Probably 5cm long (2inches) if you looked while it was stretching out or something.  I herded Dragon back to our bed for some cuddles and got Wolf to catch the ferocious beast and put it outside.  We had a chat about what grasshoppers eat and how Dragon is safe since he doesn't look like a lettuce leaf.  I think it was just the shock of seeing something so unexpected in our house first thing in the morning that it caught him off guard and caused the meltdown.  But boy oh boy did he meltdown!

I hope you are safe from velociraptor mozzies and boy-eating grasshoppers today.

Come to Australia

Further to this, this, and this that we have previously blogged about and this that my SIL mum-me has alerted me to (seen one of these all too closely) comes this great song from the Scared Weird Little Guys. These fellas are funny, check them out on youtube sometime (not now, you should be reading my blog right now).

Ahh, the land down-under. Known for it's beaches, reef, rainforests, weird accent and menagerie of death. Our backyard is plenty big enough to fit your tent in, come and stay for a while, or until something gets you...