No Joke

Monkey read a 208 page joke book today, each double page spread had around 10 jokes on it. I'm his mother and his teacher and I am shocked by this... which I kind of feel bad about, you'd think I would know he could do this stuff.

He sounded out "Archeologist" and then struggled with a word further on and realised that because it was about an archeologist then the word must be tomb. Giraffe was the only one that really got him so stuck I had to help. Not bad for my little year one boy.

I was amazed, astounded, astonished. He even gave up some of his coveted internet time (where they get a bit of time on the weekend to watch their favourite you tubers play minecraft) to read.

But all of that aside... I'm not doing the maths right now but the number of mindless little kid jokes I heard today is somewhere between "That's a crazy lot of jokes" and "that's cruel and unusual punishment".

I'd burn that book tonight while he sleeps... except he's tucked it under his pillow.

No joke.

Dr Kevin Leman Exposed...

Okay, it's not really exposing anything at all, I just started to put this in the comments and it was just a bit long so I figure why not make a post all of it's own...

Confused... read the previous post plus comments.

Leman's birth order book doesn't offer advice on how to bring up kids, it is actually geared more to adult relationships. His theories are used by big companies to help profile prospective employees and also for just helping people understand why this person or that person functions the way they do. The parenting book doesn't offer advice so much either, it is more making you aware of how those same "types" operate as children. I found it really well balanced in that it didn't say "this is what your kid will do" or "this is what you should do with your kid" like you get from so many parenting 'experts'. They say forewarned is forearmed, that is how I read it, a middle child (usurped youngest, sniff, sniff, sob, sob) about to have a first-born, and I was rightly scared witless! He does do other parenting and discipline books and also marriage books but I haven't read them so I can't comment on them.

The lack of parenting books at our house would horrify some of my book-learnin' friends but I figured why waste money on books making me feel bad when there are plenty of people out there willing to let me know where I'm going wrong for free. Like... "seriously, you've known my kids for 5 minutes and you are critiquing my parenting???" ah, how many times I wish I had the guts to say that one...

Anyway, this was just an aside, I'd love to know if you have read his book/s and if you think you fit his profile for your birth order. I know we are all falling into our little places here.

Re: Grannysaurus' comment... Grannysaurus, you read this blog, do I come across as an emotionally healthy adult? Oops. That was never the intention... sorry if I mislead anyone.

Does green playdoh count as "greens"?

Okay, Bad Mummy here, signing on for a quick bloggy session while ABC2 is babysitting the kids for me (you know you do it too!). I am on a Tupperware Kiosk at one of the local shopping centres this afternoon and I have a few minutes up my sleeve before I have to get ready (if I get ready too soon it means I have more time to get grotty before I go). I just wanted to share a wonderful book I bought this morning...

Jasper McFlea Will Not Eat His Tea

Author: Lee Fox

Illustrator: Mitch Vane

Publisher Lothian (Hachette)

ISBN: 9780734410993

It's a rhyming book about a boy that wont eat anything but pasta. Sound familiar? If not then stop reading now so you retain the disillusionment that I'm a wonderful mummy. I think I had the lady at the bookshop ready to call DOCS on me when she asked if was anything like my kids and I said that I had started counting the coloured "vegetable" pasta as veggies. She gave me a disgusted look as if to say "oh, what a bad mummy, my kids ALWAYS ate EVERYTHING on their plates" and I gave her a look that I was hoping said "you just try saying ANYTHING to me" or "I am so wrecked today that if you dis my parenting I'll let my kids loose on all your precious books" but I think it actually said "eh? they're still alive aren't they?"

So back to the book... It's a new title so it's still full price and I haven't located it at Big W or Kmart or anywhere for cheaper but when I read that the Doctor they take him to was Dr McTavish I had to get it.

Then we had morning tea with a friend I hadn't seen since before Christmas. Our kids are so close in age (big kids a week apart, little kids a month apart, she thinks I'm nuts going for number 3) and we just spent the morning marvelling at how much they have all grown up. The two little ones were keeping up with the conversation just as well as the big ones and the big ones were filling each other in on their respective kindy activities. I think B found out more about Lion's kindy in a few minutes than I have in the 15 months he's been there.

Bad Mummy signing off ;)

Bed Time Bargaining

Normally I am not the type of person who likes to re-hash things. For me it's normally 'Yup, been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, now lets find something else to do.' I can count on one hand the books which I have re-read a second time: Gilpins Space, Space Viking, Empyrion Books 1 & 2 and of course the Bible. When it comes to music I may listen to a CD over and over for a few weeks but then put it away for years before I pull it out to listen to again. I went to Disneyland when I was ten years old and since then have not had the desire to ride another rollercoaster, much to my wife's displeasure because she wants someone to ride them with.

So it has come as a real surprise that now that I have become a Dad this part of my character has somehow changed, there are actually books which I like to read every day, and Music I like to listen to every night. Well, only because I know if I read this certain book and play that particular song then at least one little boy (Dragon) will be strangely comforted and nod of to sleep.

However, his older brother Lion, loves to play the 'Bed Time Bargaining' game before going to sleep. We go through a similar pre-bed routine, bath, story, prayer and music to nod of to sleep to, but as soon as we leave the room, 'Mum, I need a glow stick', 'Dad, I want you to pat my back for one more song', 'I can't sleep, I've had a yuckky dream' ("You haven't even closed your eyes yet, Lion) and the most frequent one is 'Dad, I need a drink.'

Back to the repetive nature of bed time, I may feel the same way about 'The Foot Book' as Mum-me does 'Duck on a Bike' yet I know that it will get little Dragon to bed a whole lot easier than if I tried to get him to sleep without it. As a child I used to know 'Green Eggs and Ham' off-by-heart but try as I might The Foot Book is all Dragon wants to read, well it used to be Smelly Bertie (its about a boy who 'lets fluffy off the chain' everywhere he goes) so I guess The Foot Book is a better alternative and when it comes time to nod off to sleep, its got to be Adam Cunningham. Lion likes Twila Paris rendition of an old hymn 'Precious Jewels' but Dragon he likes Country Rock and nothing else will do. After listening to this CD ad nausem for nearly 2 years I think I sing the first track exactly like good ole Adam himself including his accent and inflections.

Anyway back to the 'Bed Time Bargaining' game. Lately Dragon has been testing his Dad to see how far he can push concerning bed time and staying up. Mostly he trys 'Mummmmm.... Mummmm... MUM!!!!' when Adams dulcet tones start up and we gave in the first few times, but knowing now that it is a test tonight I told him that he had already said good night to mummy and it was now time to listen to the music and go to sleep, this seemed to work fine I had him all settled in this bed but as I was walking out the door to his room, I hear this little voice in the dark saying 'Dink Dink' (translate I want a drink). Hmmm.... I wonder where he picked that up from.

-Wolf McT

Did You Know: Reading this book (The Foot Book) will teach the reader that you should not judge any one because of what they look like or in this case their feet. I guess that could be true considering that 'The Lorax' has a thinly veiled environmental message, I can also remember a Dr Seuss book about Weapons of Mass Destruction' and aparently Green Eggs and Ham may be interpreted as a fable to encourage children to try new things in order to gain their benefits. Perhaps fear, pride or a feeling of superiority are making the main character grumpy and resistant to change and self-improvement. And here I thought it was about Peer Pressure and Salmonella Poisoning, silly me.