What A Classic

Bog Monster: "Morning Lion, where does your dad keep his coffee?"

A running conversation around the McTavish household is about the monster that lives in the smallest room of our house.  It's been a year since this post  Random Lionism and Lion and Dragon are still talking about the Bog Monster and trying to scare each other.  

Sometimes one of the boys will be really silly about not wanting to use the toilet because the bog monster will get them, and sometime I have tried to scare the boys by changing my phone ring tone to sound like a monsters roar  (normally Chewbaca) and hiding it under a chair or near the toilet, other times I will just growl at them when they walk past the toilet door.  Every time I do this and have a laugh at my boys expense I have always been chastised by their Mummy, always...

However, this morning we had what I would call the most classic scare and I was not the instigator, it was Dragon.

Let me set the scene.  It's the wee hours of the morning and the sun is only just beginning to think about peaking his head over the horizon.  The house is dark and quiet and there is one little person stirring...  Lion, always the morning person has just woken up and has stumbled out of his bed, staggered down the hallway and tentatively turned on the light in the toilet to relieve himself from the nightly slumber.   He is used to being the only person awake at this time and delights in crashing into his Mummy's bedroom to wake her with his loud voice and cheery demeanor, this normally wakes his little brother, Monkey, who sets off his loud squall to let Mummy know that he isn't pleased that she has not anticipated his needs and is there for him when he wakes.

However, today was different, somehow Lion had woken Dragon in his morning ritual and Dragon had quietly followed him down the hallway.  As Lion pulled his pants down Dragon appeared in the doorway and croaked in his gravelly morning voice:

"Morning Lion..."

At this point Lion is thinking that the only people awake are himself and the bog monster, so of course the only person talking to him is (dramatic music, da Da Da Daaaa) the Bog Monster...  so the conversation goes something like this...

Dragon: "Morning Lion..."

Lion: **Blood curdling scream** 

Dragon:  **Blood curdling scream**
Both: **More Blood curdling screams*

Mummy: "What is it?" vaulting out of bed
Wolf: 'It's probably just a frog.'

Lion: "Someone said 'Good Morning Lion' with a really deep voice"

Mummy thinking, there is someone in the house and how do they know his name.... various scenarios going through her head.  All this time Dragon is still screaming having been scared silly by Lions screaming.

Lion: Mummy... I think the bog monster is real....

Lion: Mummy, why is there pee running down the outside of the toilet? (He didn't think to ask about the puddle on the floor though).

Dragon like pink

This post returns to the contining saga of a Dad's concern about his son's attraction to pink girlie things.

The other day Lion and Mummy McT went to a Birthday party, one which Dragon had not been invited to and he was a bit distraught about that. Nothing seemed to have worked to console him, I had even said to him that we could go out and do a Daddy/Dragon thing like take a drive in the ute, but after half an hour of tears and 'No!'s I gave up and let him sook. Finally Dragon stopped crying and walked off into his bedroom.

'Do you want me to read the Grumpies book?' I asked

'No!' came the reply

'Do you want Daddy to read something to you or do you want to....'

'No!'

'OK, let me know when you want to be civil?'

Not long after that I hear him talking to himself. 'I want ride in Drandads (granddad's) ute. Yeah, Drandad's ute, I want go shopping. Shopping in Drandad's ute. Daddy said he take me shopping in Drandad's ute. I want Daddy/Dragon day in Drandad's ute and go driving to the shops..... Dad! Dad! I not crying anymore! You take me shopping in Drandads ute, we go to the shops!'

So off we went.

'Dad, you buy me something at shops'

Well, maybe a t-shirt, I think and take him to look at the clothes. No luck, unless you want something that looks like the cover of an Alice Cooper Record or like it's come directly from a mural on an Aztec sacrifical temple. Skulls, bones and gore... I wonder what archeologists will make of our society if they uncovered the boys clothes section of Big W, 500 years in the future? Would they say our society used to ritually sacrifice our children to the god 'Pa'Ass Mah Tee Vee'?

Anyway we finally pick out a thin knitted jumper with a monster on the front, interesting since he never thinks he is cold and throws a hissy fit when asked to wear something warm. After promising that he will wear it when Mummy tells him too we walk out of the boys clothing section and run right into a 5 foot high fairy doll display...

'I want that!' pleads Dragon

'What?' says I pretending not to notice the pile of pink fairy girlie dolls.

'THIS!!' says Dragon draging out the one on the bottom of the pile

So now he has a decision: Pink Fairy Doll or Manly Monster Jumper.



Uhmmmm.....
Uhmmmm.....
Uhmmmm..... 'I want this one AND this one.' He decides.

'Uh no, just one, how about I take a photo of it and we'll show it to Grandma. Maybe she will get for your birthday.

'OK'

Well, another close call avoided by a quick thinking Dad, and we both left with our masculinity intact.



I think he was happy with his monster jumper after all, and hasn't once asked about the fairy doll.

Random Lionism

Lion: 'Dad can you come to the toilet with me?'

Wolf: 'Why? what are you afraid of?'

Lion: (calmly & matter-of-factly) 'Bog monsters.'

Wolf: '?'

Dragon: 'BOG! MONSTA! ??'

Mummy: ROTFL

Poor little Dragon, he already believes that the garage is inhabited by cookie monsters, now the smallest room in the house is haunted by the bog monster.