Could also be titled "Wolf's family thinks I'm nuts"
This one's for you Mrs Nurse Boy
Cast your mind back if you would to April(ish) 2004. What were you doing? I was a little bit pregnant and headed off for a visit with Wolf's family in New South Wales. We spent a few days with his parents then we jumped in their car and headed further south to Mum-me's clan for a dedication service for Teddy (I'm remembering that right aren't I?).
We got a wee bit down the road and that was when I saw it. A huntsman. A BIG huntsman. Inside the car. It scooted behind Saint Bernard's foot and the pedals, out of sight. I believe I most likely went quite pale at this point and I know I gripped Wolf's thigh for dear life and hissed into his ear something about a spider that was going to eat us all and we would never make it to our destination. Wolf knew that the only way to get my nails out of his thigh was to do something, anything about the spider. He very calmly asked his dad to stop and see if he could find the massive lurking beast that had only been seen by me. They couldn't see it. It was MASSIVE and they couldn't see it. Saint Bernard very kindly offered to go home and get some spray to see if they could do anything more about the beast and at least keep the spray in the car should it show itself again. I believe I may have muttered some gibberish that indicated that I would appreciate that very much. Wolf managed to convince me that the spider couldn't consume us all in the three streets it would take to get back so I shouldn't walk back to the house and that of course they would find it and we would all be safe for the rest of the trip. I just about walked to Canberra. They never found that beast, I can still see it now if I close my eyes real tight. I can see it's big long legs all hairy and creepy, scooting up out of sight and it's 8 beady little eyes mocking me that I would now know it was there for the entire trip and no one else would get to see him and they would forever doubt that I had seen anything at all. I doubted myself for a time too... but at night, when it's quiet, I can still hear him taunting me, teasing me, and I know then that he was there, creeping around the car while I travelled those miles with 3 companions that I could see and 1 that was invisible to all but me...
So, sleep well tonight.
On with other stuff.
I bought my kids sporks at Anaconda the other day... seemed like a good idea at the time. Until I got one up close after I left and realised that it should be called a kspork. It isn't just a spoon and fork on opposite ends of a stick. It has a knife too. Guess where their intelligent designer decided to put the knife.... ON THE SIDE OF THE FORK! So with each mouthful my kids can slice their cheek open just a little bit more. I'd take a photo but they are still in the car and the car is watching the football. Good thing that designer wasn't God... we'd probably have noses on our backsides or something like that!
Two of my sweet friends took me out for birthday coffee today. It was great. Lion was at kindy so I only had Dragon with me. At one point the conversation turned to stealing kids noses. I commented that we take their noses and then stick them to our backside and... um... pass wind on them. I believe from their reactions that this isn't something that other families do. We also swap body parts around, it quite traumatises the kids when I steal their mouth and swap it with one of my ears so they can't eat anything anymore. Is this normal?
We were heading off to church on Sunday when Lion discovered something in the grass... it was this little fella.
Lion went to pick it up! I kinda freaked out! It looked dead but I couldn't tell for sure. It was dead, I realised that it was cast off from a kookaburras lunch or something and was missing a bit of his tail. We had some fun later in the day taking close up photos of our new *dead* friend. Although my poor old camera doesn't do too well with the close up thing.
The boys also got busy with some masking tape, chalk and a cardboard box. This is their boat.
See the outboard motor there on the back???
And it's got a steering wheel for Lion to go cruising for chicks along the river.
And a number plate on the front??? Okay, it's not exactly an accurate representation of a boat but I think it's the best boat this family will ever own.
OK, so that story was for ME?! Because I am certain that I have a spider in my pants or crawling up my back right about now!!! YUCK!!!
ReplyDeleteThat reminded me of the time my brother had a pet snake that lived in our garage. The garage was separate from the house and my father had made it a cozy cage. A cage that the snake was able to escape from. While our car was parked in the garage. I hated riding in that car, because I was forever certain that he was slithering around in there ready to look me in the eyes.
I do hate spiders! And, your spiders make most of ours look like midgets, but SNAKES make me lose it! I am not kidding. It doesn't matter if it is big or small, I hate them all!
I am CERTAIN that something is crawling around on me...
Mrs. Nurse Boy
I think that's a legless lizard, not a snake. Think. Its head is just a bit odd for a snake. Bit hard to tell from the photo.
ReplyDeleteWow, you do have a BIG ArachnoPHOBIA, don't you? I can't even remember that incident - and here you remember every little detail. The best way to get rid of that phobia is to go to a place (museum, reptile park) where they keep spiders and ask them to let you touch and fondle a large, but docile, tarantula (even let it walk on your face) and after several sessions of that you will be cured - I saw them do it on a TV show. Many people keep tarantulas as pets check out this site
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PadauuWF94w
Anyway congratulations to the Maroons, I watched a bit of the match but it was too painful, but there's always another match another day!
Ahh, it's so good to get caught up on the posts I've missed. I just love hearing about your wild life!
ReplyDeleteSnakes, Spiders and Boats, oh my! I just love that boat, Lion could win this girls heart with his cool boat.
Yummy Calzones from an earlier posts. My #2 makes a great pizza dough I love filling it with chicken, Artichokes, klamata olives, and parmesan cheese.
Commiserations to St Bernard and other NSW supporters. I didn't watch the game, but kept an eye on the score. Very sad for blues. Enough said.
ReplyDeleteA tarantula walking on an arachnophobes face would sure cure the phobia because most of us would die of a heart attack. I'm going to do a post about this contagious phobia soon.
@Mrs NB - Something you said reminded me of that one... and you just reminded me about a friend who has a snake living in their car and doesnt seem to care. I know I'd be parking the car somewhere in the sun and coming back in a week to find the smell.
ReplyDelete@Leah - It's hard to tell in juveniles which is a snake and a legless lizard because we have two varieties around here that are incredibly similar. This one was also mid-lunch when he was caught for lunch so he had something stuck in his neck. My policy is if it's a case of safety then assume it's a snake and if it's a case of peace of mind then assume it's a legless lizard.
@Saint Bernard - If I felt that my phobia (although I like to call it a "heightened awareness") was irrational then I might take steps to cure it but I reckon that a fear of anything that can silently creep up on you and kill you is totally rational. But you do think I'm nuts don't you?
Oh yeah, and there is two more matches but we only need one more to win the series:)
@Boy Mom - nice to have you back... I love artichoke hearts... but the thought of all those fluffy little artichokes being slaughtered just for their hearts to go on my antipasto platter seems a little mean ;)
It was Mousie's dedication. I was pregnant with Teddy at that time but didn't know it yet (did not even suspect!)
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't have wanted to travel all the way from Port Stephens to Canberra in a car with a spider - big, hairy or not.
And QLD obviously paid off the ref. He was definitely wearing Maroon coloured glasses last night.
Careful what you say Mum-me, I hear that you and yours could be residing in Pumpkin, I mean, Maroonland in the not too distant future.
ReplyDeleteAnd Mummy McTavish, I really don't think you're "nuts" - just a little "strange" when it comes to spiders. You'll never ever get away from them because they even live in "Kings' Palaces" and are "exceeding wise" - Prov 30:28
Yeah, you can say it's for Mrs. Nurse Boy all you want, but I know you're just doing it to taunt me too, lol! You and your spiders.
ReplyDeleteI sometimes have dreams about spiders and wake myself up thinking I see them over my head and I'm waving my arms.....then I remember that I couldn't see anything in the dark so I must be dreaming.
I got brave when the kids were little. Now I'm back to being a wimp and letting my big boys deal with them!
crazy about the kspork! What the heck????
ReplyDeleteThat would've freaked me out about the spider & the snake, two of my least favorite creatures! EEEEEK!
I am never ever ever ever ever coming to visit you. I'm sorry. Large snakes and spiders, Ksporks and what the heck is a kookaburras? Do I even want to know? I don't think I do!
ReplyDeleteYou can come visit me though. we have possums and skunks and the occasional bear, but no deadly spiders, snakes or .....those other thingees. :-)
Saint Bernard: If I did that therapy my face would be all beat up from slapping myself to get it off. The spider...dead as a doornail because I would flail so much that it would fly against a wall and be squashed immediately once I was in my car with my foot on the excellerator. You don't think I'm attempting to step on the thing do you. Seriously, reading that bit about it crawling on people's face made me dizzy. *double shudder*
ReplyDeleteThat should read accelerator. Duh.
ReplyDelete@Lisa - a Kookaburra is a huge wild beast that is even more terrifying than snakes and spiders... after all, it eats them so it's gotta be doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteOkay, I'm gonna get into more trouble here... A Kookaburra is an Australian bird, they have a song that some people say sounds like a laugh. We have some that nest near by and sit in the tree outside our house and laugh at all the stupid things I do. I've got some video of our birds, one day if I can figure out how to get it off the video camera I'll post it:)
Kookaburras used to be called Laughing Jackasses - listen to them on this utube site
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSM9IOcLL_4
Ksporks - what a strange concept!
ReplyDeleteThe spider story is too funny - wonder where it went to hide?
I like the boys boat - very creative!
Oh those spiders can be tricky. They can hide for decades before finding the perfect moment to strike. I can't even think of your big giant hairy spiders without shuddering.
ReplyDeleteI have never seen a kspork. Sounds a little inconvenient with the awkward cheek stabbing effect, you'd think they would've thought of that during the planning phase of the utensils. I'm so glad my nose isn't on my backside, not there was some foresight. ;)
I enjoyed your stories here today! My daughter is petrified of spiders... even the smallest, tiniest, most harmless little spider can set her off in a heartbeat! I've always taken them outside to continue their little lives, but now I can't. She thinks they'll come back inside to taunt her. (This year she had one sneak out of a vent at school... right behind her. She probably came close to getting a detention because of that!)
ReplyDeleteSnakes! They traumatize me a bit, although I'm okay with the big black snakes. Our neighbor called us the other evening... A 4-5 foot snakes in her yard. It didn't matter how much we tried to convince her that it keeps mice, etc., away, she insisted on removing it forever. Ten minutes later she called back. Another one, at least six feet long, was in the exact same spot in her yard. That was strange.
Pictures of the boys playing in their boat are cute! Don't you just love a good imagination?!
Roban
Oh my goodness, I'd freak out about that snake! Dead or not.
ReplyDelete