Sunday, 17 August 2008

It's all in the Delivery

Why did the Light pole walk?.......I dont know, why did the light pole walk?....... It cant because it doesnt have any feet and it has to stay in the same place!

Okay, I guess it was the way he told it that had me laughing. What about this one...

Why did the toad cross the road?...... I dont know, why did the toad cross the road?....... Because it wanted to chop down a tree to stop all the cars!

So perhaps that one was all in the delivery as well... and perhaps a little disturbing too... um, lets try one more...

Why did the cow climb up the tree?....... I dont know, why did the cow climb up the tree?...... Because it wanted to visit the cockroaches up in the tree!

Well, okay, I'll admit, you have to be a special person to think Lion is actually funny but his delivery had me cracking up! Hope you got a laugh on this lovely Sunday!
And for all those who think their kids are the only ones that do hideously inappropriate things in public Lion came into Blockbuster with us yesterday afternoon and at one point pulled down his pants to show his backside, wiggled it about and said "mum, look at my butt" Boy did he feel the sting of Mummy McTavish's hand on his very bare backside. I informed him that no one wanted to see his butt in the video shop and he had better keep it in his pants unless he wants another smack "But mum, I was only showing it to YOU" "well I dont want to see your butt either". We always ask where he got his little gems like this from and this time he pre-empted the question "I just thought of that all by myself mummy". He is such an intelligent child! I mean it!!!! It takes a special boy to think "hmm, we are in a crowded video store on a saturday afternoon, I bet mum wants me to whip out my backside and shake it for her". Still, at least it was over straight away. Not like the friday morning Wolf taught him to say "shake it, dont break it, it took your mother 9 months to make it". Oh the anxiety... Friday is kindy day. 8 hours mummy-less with Lion having a new phrase in his head. I was panicing about picking him up that afternoon!!!! The conversation would start, "um, mummy McT, Lion was a good boy today, he did this and he did that but... um... when we were all sitting quietly for a story he stood up started wiggling his bottom saying..." at this point mummy is franticly looking for the nearest way out, leaving her child behind (because if I dont take him people might think that he isnt actually mine) and running screaming for the hills. I have always told Wolf, "before you teach Lion anything imagine him saying it at the top of his lungs in the middle of coles. if that would be appropriate then go ahead, if that has the potential to embarrass me then best not teach him." Thankfully the "dont break it" never got a mention at kindy (just at a friends house a few days later!!!) and I think wolf got in enough trouble that he has never mentioned it again. His kindy teacher is a friend so we know she would take it well (and probably not believe him if he said daddy taught him, why do people assume all the bad stuff comes from me????).

So anyway, take heart, my child can embarass his parents with the best of them. My current panic is the elders retreat coming up. Wolf has recently become an elder and apparently they want families to come to the elders retreat!!! That means my boys with a captive audience for a whole weekend. Can you imagine what might happen?????? Oh, it doesnt bear thinking about...


  1. Reminds me of the 'jokes' Possum use to tell us when she was that age. The only funny thing about her jokes was the fact that she thought they were so funny that she was laughing so hard, before she even got to the punchline, and it made us laugh too.

  2. Zai also went through a stage of telling 'jokes' - very cute! Your video shop story was hilarious! I understand your worry with elders retreat - we went out to some people from church's place today for lunch who's children are all grown up & I always worry what my kids are going to do with a captive audience!


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