Raising Boys

To understand what the object above was being used for, please refer to point #16 below.

The following is an email someone sent to us, well a few people have sent this to us over the last 4 years. I thought it was funny when Lion was in utero, but now that he is getting to that age, as well as Dragon, it is not so funny as prophetic... I've placed the ones we've experience in bold.

Apparently this came from a Mother in Austin, Texas.

Things I've learned from my 4 Boys

1.) A king size water bed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. (not experienced a baseball but small toy cars work as well)

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with bleach makes smoke, and lots of it. - the boys are not allowed in the garage for this very reason, and others, like Daddy's tools can also damage things, like your brother's head, as well as fix things.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do. - along with other items like toast, bread crusts, erasers, credit cards, army men, CD's and the keys to the lock which is supposed to stop them from doing that was inserted into the VCR

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. - neither do plastic shopping bags or any other item which may resemble an umbrella and contrary to what you see in the cartoons, flapping your hands does not keep you in the air after jumping off the back of the couch.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens. - other appliances like the dishwasher, dryer and washing machine need to be checked for 'washing' as well.

20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time. - Mummy McTavish has learnt the 'key' words which will get the North Queensland Emergency services at our door in a little under 11 minutes.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy. - the cat's here have enough sense not to go within 5 metres of our boys.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the bleach and brake fluid.

25.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.