Friday, 16 July 2010

Striking Fear...

I have a few fears.

Totally rational of course.

Like the one about a snake dropping down onto my head when I open the garage roller door... I may have mentioned this one or two times before.

I also have one where I get in the shower and close the shower screen and there is a spider between me and my only exit.  I have in the past comforted myself with the fact that this is highly unlikely.  Really, with all the places in our house that a spider could decide to live is it really going to be hanging around the shower?

So, I don't need to worry about my weird snake fear taking all the joy out of opening the garage door.  It's more of a mundane task that must be accomplished to go out in the car, not much joy in it.  Until recently I have been able to push aside my fear of a spider trapping me in the shower (and turning me into a Mummy McTavish Milkshake and sucking my brains out) and make the most of my limited time alone in the shower.  Okay, I'm not alone, I just have a really good excuse for not doing whatever it is they are asking me to do... "sure sweetie, I'll pull those Lego bits apart but they might just go down the drain if I drop them... how about you go ask daddy"...

But you see, about a month ago my life changed forever.  It happened.  My nightmare became a reality.  I waltzed merrily into the bathroom ready to enjoy a lovely long shower.  The big boys were with the grandies and the baby was asleep.  I was free to shave my legs, wash my hair, whatever.  I heard a little whistle noise come from outside and my brain teased me "ooooh, there's a bird spider gonna get you and suck your brains out".  It put me a little on edge to say the least, don't you hate it when your own brain teases you like that?  So I hopped into the shower and closed the screen and because my brain had me on edge I checked the screen.  There she was.  About a hand span across.  Hiding up in the runners of the screen.  Ready to pounce and pin me down while she waited for her Bird Spider buddies to come and get me (she was only a Huntsman so she would have needed help to turn me into a milkshake).

I was stuck.

I gingerly reached out for the handle... I had a plan.  I would carefully slide the door back and creep out and then run screaming like a little girl into Wolf who would go and kill the beast for me.

I stopped.

If I rolled the screen back it would move towards her... then she might move towards me!

Then I did my calculations a little better, I'm not really as skinny as I like to think I am... I would have to roll the screen OVER THE TOP OF HER.  Then she would not only be between me and my exit, she would be between me and my exit and she'd be CRANKY!

But my only other option was to stay in the shower with her and she was looking at me... and I wasn't wearing anything, but since I don't think spiders can die of laughter that option was out of the question.

So, in one swift movement I threw the door back gave a quick glance to make sure she wasn't halfway through the air ready to attack me and I jumped out of the shower and ran screaming like a little girl into Wolf to plead with him to rescue me.  He did.  She wont be coming back.

But one month on, I still can't relax.  If my nightmare has become reality once, what's to stop it happening again?  I spend my showers glancing nervously around looking for her spider buddies coming to get revenge.  I know they are there, watching, waiting, drooling at the thought of Mummy McTavish Milkshake...


  1. Good to hear you lived to tell the tale but the spider didn't.
    Growing up at my parents place we seemed to have an abundance of huntsman spiders that liked hiding out in the shower curtain. So I get this. Glad to now live somewhere where the spiders don't feel so at home.

  2. LOL! While I don't have fears of spiders in the shower, I completely and totally have irrational fears of mice crawling into bed with me and nibbling on my toes. {shudder}

  3. I don't think I will be able to sleep now. Why, oh why, did I read this before bed? I haate spiders.

    And I'm sorry, but this one was how big?

    Oh I feel faint.

    I called Hubby tonight to kill what they call a daddy long leg. That thing sounds like a mere baby compared to what you have described. If I wake up screaming tonight I totally will blame you!

  4. Spiders and cockroaches love to get in the shower recess where you don't see them until you are in their territory and in their power. They like to be at eye level or higher so they aim for your head when you try to escape. These are the facts of life. It's a jungle in there.

  5. LOL. When you mentioned your fear of the spider on the shower door at the top of the post, I was going to comment "Guess I shouldn't tell you about the time I found a huntsman spider in the top runner of my shower door"... only to discover it happened to you too!

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  7. ((oh - and it never happened to me a second time :) That said, I do often check the runners when I am getting in the shower now!)

  8. I'm not sure I'd ever be able to take a shower there again. Seriously.


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